Why Not Me?

Have you asked yourself the popular movie line, “Why me?”

When someone gets his medical results and positive of a disease or condition, he asks the same question.

When someone fails in the board examination or didn’t passed any job interview, he also asks the same thing.

When someone feels frustrated, broken and shattered because of all the things that is happening in his life, he questions God, “Why, of all people, it has to be me?”

Well, this time my story is not related to that. I was actually redirected into another question, why not me?

Most of you know that I recently quit my job as an emergency room nurse, for the reason that I really want to try new things out and see for myself what’s outside my comfort zone. In short, I tried to shift into a new career. I tried, meaning in 3 months it wasn’t that successful. Maybe because there are no enough people that will guide me or it was a closed door after all. I want to think that the first one is the right answer.

In the middle of the quest, there are few windows that opened. These are entry points that made me realized that jumping out of your courage zone wasn’t bad after all.

I was blessed to experience the career I really want to do for the rest of my life- Motivating and coaching people to live life to the fullest. It was one of the highlights of my life.

But just like what I said, there were only few windows that were opened. These windows also made me miss the previous spotlights and hero moments. These longing made me think that maybe I did the wrong move.

I felt the heartbreak again.

Para akong iniwan ng boyfriend ulit. Lahat pina-experience, pinasample at pinahiram lang.

For a couple of weeks I allowed sadness to win, the feeling of worthlessness and uselessness were present. I can still remember that I had nightmares due of stress.

But God never leaves you weary and burdened as they said.

I may had questioned him why I wasn’t chosen for the job I really love. And avoided to talk to him during my usual night prayers. I may had done things he will hate. But I am sure He never left. He never hated me. He never abandoned me.

Because He didn’t missed the chance to remind me every day of his love.

He gave me someone that will never get tired of my questions.

He gave me people that will believe in me when no one else was.

He gave me food, shelter and basic needs that makes me survive every single day of my journey.

He assures I will be able to hear him during the homily and from the people who makes my love tank full.

You may have also experienced this kind of frustration in your career, relationships or finances. You wanted to ask God to pick you up and choose to grant your wishes like a genie or a santa claus.

But God is no wishing well. He doesn’t grant wishes out of luck. He grants wishes out of grace.

Maybe the answer to “Why not me?” is actually,”You are home.”

You are actually where you needed to be.

You are chosen not in your terms but in his.

“Forget Yourself. Take Up your Cross and Follow me.”

God Bless!